Life as a Movie; Penelope as the Main Character

by arosedavidson


It’s honestly weird when things go out of your control. You imagine something, you define a path, you grasp the visual effect – just like they do in the movies – and everything works, there’s not even one piece that doesn’t match your artistic puzzle.

But then, the unexpected happens and you just see your scenes fall to the ground, burn into ashes.

Despite you’ve felt angry, a few hours later that sense of emptiness will definitely arrive.

Have you ever been invited one hour before the beginning of the event? If you did, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

No, it wasn’t a big deal. It was just a normal thing I’ve already said I couldn’t do but, still, people warn me minutes before the meeting. And, notice, that was the second time it occurred.

To say the truth, there’s nothing I wanted to do more than screaming at the person, but I couldn’t. I would, I honestly would if I had nothing to lose, and if I knew for sure I wouldn’t regret that decision.

Despite that, after all, I just felt empty. Empty, because I do talk, socialize, go out and have fun, but always have the feeling that something is missing.

Empty, because I’ve seen this happening before. Moreover, I don’t want this movie to end just like the previous ones. I don’t want a remake. I want a new piece, a fresh start to be seen with a bucket of popcorn, instead of something I’ve seen over and over again, making me sleepy.

I wish I didn’t feel this whole inside of me, that huge lack of support you feel when you’re sixty and you’re tired of being alone.

It’s like I’ve just went to the sea and watch my beloved one leave on a ship, without knowing if he’ll ever return. Yes, that’s the movie I haven’t seen – I don’t remember the departure. I only recall the emptiness of those ancient stories, like Penelope, and much more Penelope’s that remained unknown, unnamed, perfect Jane Does.

I feel like them, in spite I’m not embroidering a tapestry during the day, and undoing it at night. I just wait by the sea, feeling that calm and cold breeze waving my hair; my eyes staring at the water, while time passes without a sound, and I simply remain still.

[No, I haven’t found the photograph in the internet: I took it, a few days ago and absolutely fell in love with that place… ]

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