I usually tend to feel older than what I actually am. This is just one of those days.
I was just sneaking around some facebook pages [I guess this is the time when I confess that I’ve got a life, and I’m not addicted to facebook. Thanks for asking] and it just hit me, without a decent, proper warning. I was watching some photos of a friend, taken about one or two years ago, while we were still attending to the same school, and the feeling installed in my heart.
I caught myself missing all those insane things we use to do, the times she lost herself eating the cookies I had bake, the times she sincerely hugged me. Gosh, she was quite a girl. Pretty, clever and fearless to say what she wanted to say.
I went to college, and, obviously, we went apart. Yet, I miss that little girl, I really do.
While I was looking at the pictures, I felt this enormous fear of letting life behind – because, sometimes, I feel that’s exactly what I’m doing, day after day. I feel like I’m missing all the things I shouldn’t; loosing my supposed to be friends and the people I talk to; feeling like, in certain moments, I’ve got no one to talk to.
I see everyone else being only normal creatures, going out and keeping in touch with old friends. In the other hand, I look around myself, and it’s like everyone is going away.
I do feel old, nostalgic and the like. Well, some people say they get party blues, and I’m just like them. Furthermore, I get vacation blues. Quite unpleasant, ha?!
To say the truth, I don’t even know where else I should head this post. It seems like my little boat decided to stop in the middle of the ocean, and I decided to quit rowing. So, I’ll just enjoy the view, and try to clean my head. I truly need that. Yet, I’m afraid I’m not able to do it.