an aiming to be designer, with the soul of a writer

Tag: things to do

Decisions, Decisions

I shouldn’t be here, writing. Instead, I should be drawing.
Still, I don’t feel like doing none of them, and I know that if I allow myself to write more than just a few lines, I’ll just spend another day without drawing.

Let’s just face the facts while we can: I can’t be here. I have to draw and I’m 100% sure that if I don’t do it, I’ll feel a tremendous amount of guilt tomorrow. I know it.

Still, why is it so hard to choose?!

I guess I’ll just have to do as if I were still a kid: sweetheart, if you draw, you’ll be allowed to write, ok?! I’m only afraid it won’t work, since I’m feeling sleepy.

Amy, get ready. You’re in the guilt course, and it will hit you as soon as you wake up, tomorrow. The countdown starts now.


Heading Back To Myself

It’s even hard to grasp that my classes are finally over. It’s so weird and different from high school… I was completely used to have a week just to do nothing at all, and say “goodbye” with teary eyes. This time, I couldn’t even notice that it was heading to the end.

Well, except for drawing classes, of course. I wouldn’t avoid the tears, even if I tried. That teacher – the one I honestly hated so many times – was simply amazing. He was the only one who I asked for personal advice about college, and his answer really helped me.

After all, I didn’t say goodbye to anyone – except my best friend over there. It just didn’t sound like an ending…

And now, after those insane last two weeks, I’ll have three entire months to rest, and do whatever I want to do. I’ll be able to think, to write, to go out with all the people I want to… But it will be really weird not getting up at 6 o’clock to have a class at 9, and not to spend all my time at college.

It will be great to be at home, since I’ll be able to draw each and every single day and truly commit myself with it, so that I can definitely improve. I’m heading to the 2nd year of fashion design so I need to be great.

And I’ll ease my mind, try to find a job and improve my skills, and try to figure out what I really want to do, who I really want to be.

Yes, this will be another vacation time dedicated to myself. Just like it’s used to be.

Oh, I forgot: in two weeks, I’ll have my birthday. I can’t even realize that another year has passed. It still seems like I’m convict saying  – and believing – I’m not going to college! After all, one year has gone by and, now, I can’t imagine myself anywhere but there.